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04 May 2006 @ 11:48 am

"Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own"

Tough, you think you've got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough

You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

We fight all the time
You and I...that's alright
We're the same soul
I don't need...I don't need to hear you say
That if we weren't so alike
You'd like me a whole lot more

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

I know that we don't talk
I'm sick of it all
Can - you - hear - me - when - I -
Sing, you're the reason I sing
You're the reason why the opera is in me...

Where are we now?
I've still got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone...

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
Sometimes you can't make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
Current Mood: volatile
24 January 2006 @ 02:22 pm
There has got to be a way to delete this pile of angsty crap other than going through and deleting them all individually. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I don't really have enough time to waste doing this right now. Maybe later.

FWT is going well. I like working alone. And I also like snow. But soon I will kill people.
Current Mood: awake
02 November 2005 @ 01:07 am
in the aftermath of halloween weekend, the most disturbing and confusing thing I have found in my room (thus far) is someone else's hair in my fish tank. more disturbing is the fact that I cannot figure out whose hair it is.
Current Mood: weirdweird
25 October 2005 @ 09:58 pm
It is now mid-term. Here's my progress so far:

I got back a paper that I did well on, but will re-write anyways because I am obsessed with Doug Bauer and want him to think I am smart.

The dining hall has lost all its allure and upon entering, at any given meal time, I immediately desire to erase all memory of the over-ripe produce and deftly thawed frozen goods they are serving.

I've had 3 sucessful parties and made out with at least 2 new people, and possibly a few more that I do not remember.

I just went to VAPA at 9:30 pm and decided it was too early for homework.

I had my first good painting crit with Andy Spence. (fuck yeah)

And now I am scrambling to find an FWT.

Now, as a junior, I am certain why spring term is better than fall term. It is because of FWT.

7 weeks or however long to go. I can only imagine what the second half of term has in store for me.
Current Mood: ditzyditzy
Today has been quite the day. And by today I mean the time that I have been awake: really more like 2 and quickly approaching 3 days now.

I finished my essay and my paintings. The paintings actually did REALLY WELL in crit today and even Andy Spence complimented me! That was a high point in my life right there.
I had more caffeine than I've ever had before in one day (not true but my tolerance has gone down since I left dunkies and I also didn't eat all day until just before I began puking). I also had my first heart to heart with Nick Nolte. He's a good guy to have around, but not much of a conversationalist. But my own personal House Chair came and remedied that situation. I have rehydrated and will be good to go once I get some sleep, but sleep is not coming so easily just now so I figured livejournal was a good waste of my time.

So, all of this chaos has left me a little emotional. Ok. Maybe it wasn't all the chaos, maybe it was that I just found out dad moved out and ma stole 25 grand endangering my ability to pay my tuition and go to school here. I am also feeling like I don't have anything solid in my life right now. I don't have any person that I know will ALWAYS be there.

Fuck. Dad doesn't have room for me. I'm on my own now and I am terrified. I had just assumed that when I wanted to leave home for good I would be getting married or something. Now I am just generally emotional. I'm glad Dad has someone else to love but I just wish we could keep the house and I would have somewhere I could feel like I always had a place.

I am also freaking out that someday I will graduate Bennington. That is going to ruin everything. This school is now the only home I can lay claim to, and in less than 2 years I'm going to loose that. I wish someone would just grab me by the hand and say "stick with me kid," like in the movies and I wouldn't have to worry about my future anymore.
My FWTs also fell through. I'm fucked. Over long weekend I'll write my resume and cover letter and maybe go to Las Vegas with Kristen and her Mom for lack of a better option. I have no viable plans for after graduation. I wish I could make some contacts over my FWTs but I keep waiting until the last minute and picking a job based on my social needs and where I can afford to live.

There is nothing I dislike more than being emotionally needy and unsure about things. I wish I was able to make my own plans and just go out and do things all on my own. I mean, I could, but I don't think I would be happy. I am not making sense. I just wish that I could be happy alone and wouldn't have to worry.

I have friends and family and I love them but I can't live with them. I have to make my own new family and that isn't easy without another person.

This rant must end. Goodnight.
Current Mood: listlessship without an anchor
15 October 2005 @ 06:13 pm

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

everyone needs to take this quiz!
Current Mood: happyhappy
13 October 2005 @ 06:07 pm
Prepare yourselves for DELIVERANCE


you know where
04 October 2005 @ 02:27 am
chef jpeg
You are the the Swedish Chef.
You are a talented individual, nobody understands
you. Perhaps it's because you talk funny.

"Brk! Brk! Brk!"
Kokin' der yummee-yummers

"Wild Strawberries...and Creme"

"Der Swedish Chef Kokin' Bokin'"

"Vergoofin der flicke stoobin mit der brk-brk

What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Current Mood: awake
27 September 2005 @ 12:42 pm
Max has been incredibly affectionate lately. Strangely affectionate. I woke up to Max stepping on my head, subsequently falling on my head, and then turning around to ram me in the face with his nose. Then the alarm went off. I reset it for an hour later and got back into bed. I was laying on my side all curled up in my comforter and then Max decided he wanted to sleep ON me. So he precariously perched himself on top of my shoulder/armpit. It was an act of incredible balance and he remained there until the alarm went off again and got pissed at me for moving him.
Current Mood: amusedamused
25 September 2005 @ 11:20 pm
Big news from Dad. holy crap. Possibly the moment we've all been waiting for.
I don't know if I can post it here, but this is big.

I think I'll have to go to Boston for this one.
Current Mood: surprisedsurprised
Current Music: Cher, All or Nothing